Building character

“We can’t remake ourselves without suffering; for we are both the marble and the sculptor.” Alexis Carrel, Nobel Prize winner for Medicine

Understanding human nature and potential is essential for leadership, but discerning what human beings do with that potential is even more important.  The way we use the advantages of our human nature and the unique genetic deposit given to each of us determines our character, the self-chosen stamp we put on our developing personality.

Ultimately, we are what we choose to be, and the harmful consequences of wrong choices are plain for all to see in a world struggling for answers about the human condition.

Suffering is an inescapable part of being human, essential to our development.  Creativity and progress are often inspired by suffering, as can be seen in examples like Beethoven and Edith Stein.

Suffering involves self-conscious reflection on the pain we feel.  And the suffering “Why?” frequently ushers in the creative “What if?” and new possibilities emerge, holding out the promise of redemption.  In human experience, suffering presages redemption.

Redemption is the most enduring theme in literature, from Biblical stories like Exodus and the Prodigal Son to Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities and Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov.  Movies like Cinderella Man, Blood Diamond, and Grand Torino indicate that post-modern meaninglessness is unlikely to smother this primeval obsession.

History overflows with sagas of suffering and redemption: slave-holding America redeemed by the immolations of the Civil War, Poland restored through the sacrifices of Solidarity, and South Africa lifted up by the spirit of reconciliation espoused by Nelson Mandela.

Suffering and redemption underline that human nature has the potential for both good and evil, and personal fulfilment is determined by the choices we make as we negotiate the challenges of this life.

But what is good and what is evil?  In a world where political correctness howls down any attempt to express in plain words what is clear to all reasonable people, how is a leader to confidently promote what is good for people, and oppose what is evil?

We all use the concepts of good and bad quite naturally – just try discussing economics or politics without recourse to them.  Or imagine what a mess society would be without the necessary distinction between good and bad.  Pretty much everything we do requires us to make judgments in this regard.

The philosophical errors that led to the current moral confusion in the western world are well documented and need not detain us here, and the reality is that we all know what is good for people and what is bad.

Classic philosophy and modern science agree that freedom, meaning, purpose, knowledge, honest relationships, good health, prosperity, and the virtues that provide the mental strength for the quest are good for human beings.  By contrast, enslavement (to ideology, other people, drugs, etc.), meaninglessness, purposelessness, ignorance, dishonesty, dysfunctional relationships, illness, poverty, and the vices that corrode our potential are bad.

In any workplace, home, or community where the good things are absent, human well-being is to some degree compromised.  Widespread human suffering underlines the need for virtuous character, the stuff of which leaders are made, if there is to be redemption.

It all comes down to attitude, a state of mind that develops online casino from experience and education, formal and informal, and which determines how we regard other people and the world, and how we intend conducting ourselves toward them.

How do we distinguish between positive and negative attitudes?  Good attitudes promote well-being, while bad attitudes cause harm.  They either promote well-being in oneself, other people, and the world around us, or they cause harm.  They are either constructive or destructive.

Self-chosen mind-sets like courage, honesty, self-control, respect, compassion, and industriousness promote well-being, personal, communal, and corporate, while their opposites – cowardice, dishonesty, self-indulgence, contempt, callousness, and laziness – cause harm.

It is important to distinguish between attitudes and emotions.  Emotions are the feelings brought on by bodily reactions, like accelerated respiration and pulse, increased blood sugar and adrenalin, and papillary dilation or contraction, that urge us to act in certain ways.  Emotions happen, while attitudes we can choose.

For example, I might feel desire (my emotion) for a family heirloom, and either be caring or selfish (my attitude) towards my sister, whose emotional need is greater.  A woman may feel disgust and disappointment at the behaviour of her child, but choose to love him regardless and work for his redemption.  A husband may be emotionally tempted to sleep with a beautiful colleague, but choose instead to love his wife by being faithful.

We are free to choose how we respond to our feelings.  We have free will, the faculty of choice, and the intellect to help us make judgments as to right attitudes and behaviour.  And it is in making these everyday choices that we forge our own character.

The many positive attitudes listed in Leaders and Misleaders, and in any number of books on emotional intelligence, all spring from the cardinal virtues of practical wisdom, courage, self-control, and justice, and the theological virtues of faith, hope, and love.

Personal integrity depends on these seven attitudes.  Their opposites – foolishness, cowardice, self-indulgence, injustice, cynicism, despair, and hate, are all harmful to others, the world, and ourselves.  It is not difficult to see what ails the western world.

Every choice we make in relation to how we conduct ourselves in life stamps our personality in a particular way, defining the sort of person we have chosen to be.  Leading like you mean it demands constant attention to developing one’s own character and inspiring the growth of good character in others.

Leading like you mean it is about people, and therefore it is about personality and character, the building blocks of community and culture.

The above is a précis of Chapter Eight of Leaders and Misleaders by Andre van Heerden. In the next article,  Andre will consider “Building fulfilling relationships

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